Friday, December 31, 2021

Trip Around the Sun

This week, The Audiophile’s personal odometer clicked over to a new decade of life. Apparently, this was his “diamond jubilee” birthday, which sounds a lot snazzier than the “get off my lawn” birthday or the “don’t touch the driver” birthday. Since there aren’t many songs about diamonds being a boy’s best friend, I decided to give him a road trip jubilee.

This trip was supposed to include live music—the symphony, a concert, a female solo artist performing safely behind her microphone, a dude with a five-string guitar—anything, really. Sadly, all the live musicians in the kingdom of everywhere take the week after Christmas off, and all the dead musicians are content to live off their royalties.

The closest we came to a performance was a DIY guy who had cleverly mounted a boom box to the back of his bike. He seemed to have a preference for bass-heavy beats, and there was more than a fair amount of distortion in his woofer, but at least it did not require shelling out seven figures or kidnapping a female vocalist.