Friday, December 24, 2021

Hallelujah Chorus

Dear audiophile, 

Did you remember to book an overweight, middle-aged white guy dressed in fake fur to jam himself down your chimney with an item for your wife that is not 13”x18”x6”? Of course you did. You are a renaissance man, a man with exceptional EQ, a man who appreciates a nice warm bed over the sofa—unless the sofa happens to be in a ménage à trois with a pair of high efficiency you-know-whats.

This, I understand, is presumptuous. Maybe your wife likes rectangular items. Maybe SHE is the initiator? You’ll know this if she has ever said something like, “Hey, babe, why don’t we just get that darTZeel amp for each other and call it a holiday?”

That is not exactly what I said to The Audiophile, but I must have made some vague affirmative gesture, or the Fyne Young Cannibals never would have shown up just in time to celebrate the birth of Jesus. And, now that I think about it, there are quite a few biblical references to the importance of listening, which implies the Lord God Almighty is an audiophile. Wait, that would make HIM The Audiophile. Sorry, babe.