Friday, October 26, 2012

The Best I've Ever Had

Last Saturday I was lured to The Listening Room to offer my opinion on the newest amp. This particular amp was one-third the cost of the previous amp, which gave it a higher WAF before he even plugged it in.

Surprisingly, The Audiophile and I agreed that the sound was significantly better than that of its pricier predecessor.  I volleyed terms like "warm, genuine, and transparent" about as if I were an appropriately clad outside hitter for team USA. At one point, The Audiophile turned to me and declared, "This album has never sounded better."

Although I should be pleased with that statement, I know what it really means. It means he will now need to swap out all the other components along with the drywall, area rugs, and door hinges to see if he can coax even more perfection from the perfectly tuned, perfectly priced, perfectly wonderful amplifier, because "leaving well enough alone" would strip The Audiophile of his title and perhaps even his manhood.

And that, my friends, is audio winning.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Night Fever

The Audiophile suffers from a form of stereo insomnia. It comes over him when he is buying and selling equipment and seems to be exasperated by the site that I lovingly refer to as Audiothong.

Audiothong, from what I can tell, entices people to place advertisements on their site for a nominal fee. What they don't tell you is you will feel the need to revisit the site every twelve or thirteen minutes to make sure your ad hasn't stopped breathing, gotten tangled in its blanket, or lost its binky.

It is best not to make conversation with The Audiophile when he is buying and selling because although he appears to be making partial eye contact, I've learned he is actually calculating shipping charges and imagining himself packing and unpacking gear with confetti coming down from the ceiling and dancing girls doing the can-can at a safe distance from the components.

Sometimes, especially after midnight, when I can hear him pecking away at the keyboard I think about creating my own Audiothong account. I would buy all the stuff he lists, I would pay his full asking price, I would accept his proposed arrangements for shipping, I would gladly use Paypal, and I would complete all transactions prior to 9:00 p.m. so both of us could enjoy a good night's sleep.

And that, my friends, is audio winning.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Till Death Do Us Part

The Audiophile has been crisscrossing the country again to provide abundantly for the family. This leaves me and my electronic sister wives to fend for ourselves.

I prefer to think of myself as the younger more fertile wife in the harem, but I'm afraid that is simply not the case. The object of The Audiophile's deepest desires these days is The Amp. The one he is building with his bare hands, that is. The one for whom upgraded parts arrive on a regular basis leaving the rest of us wives to sooth our sagging positions with extra chocolate rations and BBC dramas.

The Amp, in my opinion, is more of a Stepford wife than a sister wife. This means I should probably refer to her as The Audiophile's Wife since, if I understand the Stepford concept correctly, she will ultimately be called by my name and will assume the writing of this column in my stead.

That said, if at some point in the future the tone of this column loses its convivial irreverence and becomes uncomfortably submissive, please contact the authorities and suggest they have a look-see in the "empty" original boxes in our storage room.

And that, my friends, is audio winning.