Friday, January 28, 2022

Thank You For The Music

The Audiophile choses the music that plays in our humble abode, not just because he is the alpha human, but because he has excellent taste. My taste has its lows and its Apple-Bottom-Jeans-Boots-With-The-Fur lows, although you are guaranteed to enjoy a dance party weekend if I’m the one dropping the beats.

This brought me to wondering if audiophiles even like to dance or if it’s only about sitting perfectly still, in the same spot, using their increasingly furry ears, to pick up on the canine differences in Sound A verses Sound B. So, I Googled “Do audiophiles like to dance?”

I learned “A reasonably good number of audiophiles are attracted to EDM.” I ran this bit of sci-fi past The Audiophile, and his subsequent rant included frantic hand gestures and a phrase that alluded to a bull and its droppings.

In summary, The Audiophile does not dance, does not like EDM, and will not play your favorite music if you stop by because he is THE Audiophile in this house, which is sort of like being THE President of the United States or THE Queen of England neither of whom I’ve ever seen busting much of a move.


Friday, January 21, 2022

Why So Serious

Remember back in October when I mentioned I had ordered The Audiophile a subscription to Stereopile? Guess what? His first issue arrived this week after roughly three monthsor precisely 94 days.

What makes this interesting is I contacted them by electronic means on several occasions with gentle requests and humorous nudges to get them to… enter his name and address into their database?

Anyway, in one of those nudges, I suggested they might like to provide him with an extended subscription since he had grown a ZZ Top beard during the wait. I even mentioned, quite casually, of course, that I was The Audiophile’s Wife and provided them with a link to this blog.

In a matter of hours, Stereopile responded. I eagerly opened their communication expecting some sort of affirmation that I had made them chuckle—perhaps a laughing-smiley-faced emoji or an invitation to be a regular columnist. Instead, I was matter-of-factly informed that we had paid for a one-year subscription and could expect to receive exactly 12 issues. Snap, snap, snap. That means we now have eleven more humorless issues of Stereopile to look forward to before... 

I compose an electronic message as it relates to the terms of our renewal.  😂


Friday, January 14, 2022

Slip Slidin' Away

Here’s a question: Why, WHY, aren’t the feet that speakers come with good enough feet? Are they even called feet? Maybe they are footers, I really don’t know, all I do know is there is always a need for my assistance to tip and hold the speakers while far superior replacement footer feet are attached to the undercarriage.

The Fyne Young Cannibals were no exception. I was doing something perfectly awesome when I was summoned to fulfill my wifely duties as a tipper holder. Not to brag, but I am pretty crackerjack at the art of tipping and holding things at a 43-degree angle while The Audiophile attends to the man work down below. That said, the FYCs, being particularly huge, were at this angle when my mind began to wander down the long and winding road.  

What if I lost control of the tip and the hold and a 149-pound speaker crashed to the ground? What then, huh? Burst into tears? Beg for my life? Make a cup of tea and wait for a sheriff to arrive with the documents detailing the painfully obvious reason for our irreconcilable marriage?

The answer to these questions, and so much more, will have to wait for another day because, miraculously, I did not lose my grip even though I was, of course, using the godforsaken slippery cotton towel to keep my white-knuckled greasy grimy gopher hands from permanently etching fingerprints into the piano-gloss walnut cabinets.


P.S. I don't monetize this drivel, but click here to join me in drinking decent wine. (You and I will both enjoy $50 off.)


Friday, January 7, 2022


Back in 1994, prior to my having any idea I would one day take the highly coveted position as The Audiophile’s Wife, there was an artist by the name of Jann Arden who recorded my go-to song for special occasions such as...

…the most recent quarrel that took place on Audiothong. Now, I do not personally read the forums, but The Audiophile provides me with unsolicited updates on the audiothongery. He is particularly smitten with a gentleman who writes about how to buff tubes, or something of that nature, and is always dismayed when the Audiothong Mafia exterminates the posts for grammatical reasons. But I digress.

This week there was difference of opinion on the forum between two manufacturers of audio importance. One was a domestic seller, and the other was an importer from a country that was deemed inferior to the United States of Audiophilia. I don’t know who won this mano-a-mano showcase showdown, or if the Audiothong Cosa Nostra removed the thread with a fast yank, but based on my limited intel, I do believe some of the parties involved in the conversation may have…

Some advice to give…

On how to be…