Friday, September 21, 2012

Like A Surgeon

A while back The Audiophile took apart his speakers. I thought we were not supposed to touch the speakers, but apparently it is perfectly acceptable to rip out their insides and dump them in a box.

Furthermore, it is permissible, although I'm not convinced it is beneficial, to fire up the power drill and bore holes into the back of the speakers. If I understand this barbaric procedure correctly, the idea is to relocate the speaker guts into a pair of custom-made, Jatoba boxes in order to, say it aloud with me: Improve the sound quality.

I'm sure this will lead to a listening event in which I will need to convincingly say I detect a HUGE improvement in the sound quality, but until then I'm investigating how I might outboard my bladder for a more comfortable experience during the high-impact portion of my aerobics class.

And that, my friends, is audio winning.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Pandora's Box

The Audiophile was away on official business last week, which put me in charge of many things outside the scope of my formal education. At the top of the list, of course, was the acceptance of corrugated parcels.

The winner of this week's box competition was an item from the Pacific Northwest, which had the most impressive display of postal stamps I've ever seen in my life. I tried to count all the stamps, but when the tally staggered into the thirties, I realized there was no chance for statistical accuracy and retreated to the kitchen for a tasty snack.

Oddly, The Audiophile seemed far more interested in the contents of the box upon his return. I tried to instigate a lively conversation about the stamps, but the tiny American flags were simply no match for the explosive looking thing in the box. And now that I think about it, if the Federal Bureau of Investigation ever interrogates me about suspicious deliveries to our address, I'm going to be more than a little chagrined.

And that, my friends, is audio winning.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Land of Confusion

Although I am a highly focused person, the concentration train often leaves the station during an A/B session. Last week, I was instructed to sit and stay in The Listening Chair, which I obediently did like a well-trained Labrador awaiting an edible reward. The problem was getting the leash on my thoughts:

Okay, I can do this. I can tell the difference between A and B. Here comes that plucky part where the bass kicks in. We are out of soy sauce, my foot itches, and I forgot to water the flowers. Shoot, I missed the bass part, but I think B was pluckier than A. Is pluckier a word? Of course it's a word. What time is it? Dark o'clock, that's what time it is. Uh oh, he's turning the music off, just say B was pluckier and hope for the best, no, not pluckier, say it was weighty, no, woolly, no, congested, no, thick, no...

"Well?" The Audiophile said as he waited for my muzzy analysis. Ummm, it seemed like the bass in B was more clipped than A. "YES," he bellowed while patting my head, "Because the power of the subwoofers relative to the power in the splockenheimer was whakka whakka whakka..."

And that, my friends, is audio winning.