Friday, April 27, 2018

Baby What a Big Surprise

Remember a few weeks ago when I wrote that nonchalant bit about having a girl crush on the Dali Epicons? It seems The Audiophile read that post and had a pair rambling down I-40 on the back of a box truck faster than you could say, "Roger that."

Understand, this is NOT a birth announcement because these babies have to pass a test. Strike that, they have to pass an infinite and ongoing number of tests before they get to live with us permanently. And by permanently, I don't mean forever, I mean right up until another box truck pulls up and takes them away over my 110 dB crying jag that will probably make the truck driver mildly uncomfortable.

In the meantime, I'm playing it cool and wondering what would happen if I blogged (again) about wanting a small acoustically-behaved puppy.


Friday, April 20, 2018

Stand by Your Man

The Audiophile had a slow week so I took to the forums to see what I could learn from other audiophiles even though this, along with sucking nicotine into your lungs, is not particularly recommended by the surgeon general.

This week's winner is the following: 

It seems to be audiophiles are not only predominantly men, but middle-aged or older men, most of whom seem more opinionated than most, grumpier and more argumentative than most, and more inclined to show off.

I have no idea if that statement is true, but if opposites attract, that implies audiophile wives are predominantly younger, not terribly opinionated, happier and less argumentative than most, and not very inclined to show off.

Yep, I'd say that pretty well sums it up.


Friday, April 13, 2018

It's a Miracle

In not-so-surprising news, The Audiophile has recently been playing with a new way to eek one more milligrammometer of perfection from his system.

If you are able to move your gaze away from the Jupiter copper foil capacitor, what you will see is the application of a very expensive clear substance. I do not know what this stuff is called or what it is supposed to do.

Could I ask The Audiophile? Yes, I could. He is within spitting distance, at least I think I could spit and hit from where I'm sitting, but the problem with asking him for clarification is he would provide clarification and a lot of it.

This acoustic spit, as it will now be called, has been applied to everything in The Audiophile's inventory. He has declared it to be a "walk-on-water miracle," and he has shouted all the positive adjectives you can imagine into his cellular telephone in an attempt to share the good news.

Let us now take a moment, bow our heads, and pray that Jesus is an audiophile so he won't be terribly offended by The Audiophile spreading the gospel of acoustic spit to all the nations.


Friday, April 6, 2018

Sitting on Top of the World

What you see here is a real picture of a real situation in my real house.

I'm not sure where to begin with my droll comments about the circumstances that led to this being the latest necessity in our decor, but I will, of course, give it a try.

One day I turned to The Audiophile and said, "Honey, I wouldn't mind having a me-sized chair in The Listening Room."

Understand, in our new down-sized life, The Listening Room is actually called The Living Room by normal people even though it causes The Audiophile to wince a little and gnash his teeth. This room had sufficient papa-bear furniture, and I was simply asking for one quiet mama-bear chair.

Now, as you all know, if you give a mama bear a chair she's going to want a new coffee table, and if you give her a new coffee table she is going to want a new rug to go under it. This domino effect will continue until something positively MUST be done about the horsed-up acoustics in The Listening Room.

I don't know what the problem was with the acoustics or their horse, but this is The Audiophile's happily-ever-after solution, and I'm pleased to report it has restored harmony to his Goldilocks zone.