Friday, November 12, 2021

The Candy Man

Here’s a story. Of a lovely lady. Who was roped into a date that was basically a two-hour listening session with a guy from Music City.

Now, this wasn’t just any guy, this was a dealer. Let’s call him The Candy Man, shall we? It’s difficult to know where to even start with this experience, so I will focus on the gloves, for starters.

Remember yesteryear when I carried on and on and then ON about being forced to use a SLIPPERY COTTON DIAPER to assist with speaker placement, so my filthy female hands didn’t eat through the veneer, and blow out a tweeter? Yeah, that, well when it was time for The Candy Man to swap out the speakers in this listening date of ours, he casually slipped on a pair of specially designed Speaker Moving Gloves as if it was no big thing. These gloves were obviously a gift Jeff Bezos thoughtfully brought back from space. They had a soft yet grippy surface. They fit like a glove. And, I saw absolutely no fear in The Candy Man’s eyes as he gracefully placed the Wolf von WangJangles into position without spilling a single drop of fluid from their midrange.

I believe I speak for audio wives near and far when I say this is all we want for Christmas. No, not the Wolf von WangJangles, THE GLOVES. We want the gloves and also all the other things we want including, but not limited to: a puppy.