Hanging Wallpaper

There are a number of home-based projects that various authorities have deemed to be a true test of marriage. I don’t know if there is an official list of qualifying projects, but if so, I would like to submit the following for addition to the list: building a sound panel.

Last weekend, I thought I would be able to safely curl up with a book written by dog that enjoyed auto racing. Instead, The Audiophile politely suggested we build a sound panel. I politely suggested he purchase one from his favorite mafia-controlled website. He counter-politely-suggested that building one together with our bare hands and raw intelligence would be more fun.

May I further suggest that the dude who originally said, “Measure twice; cut once,” was pretty much a genius.  I imagine he also would have known to wear gloves when working with fiberglass panels in order to prevent microscopic shards of glass from being embedded in his knuckles.

Raw hands and bare intelligence aside, we managed to complete the project in under four hours, and the upholstery job looks almost professional. Best of all, we did this without raising our voices above 79 dB or jousting each other with the 1x2's.

And that, my friends, is audio winning.

Tinker Toys

There are many things I do not understand about audiophilia nervosa. One is the idea of taking something apart, applying fire, and expecting it to be better than it was before. I suppose you could make a case for this theory if the subject were a chicken or a goat, but it seems a little shaky when it comes to stereo equipment.

Nevertheless, The Audiophile likes to take his rectangular toys apart, remove their innards, shake them, smell them, and then put them back with the aid of a soldering iron aka fire. He says he has changed out the parts for better parts, but I've looked into the open chest cavity of the rectangles, and the "before" looks exactly the same as the "after" as far as I can tell.

Sometimes, when he is desperate, he solicits my assistance with these projects. I am generally tasked with holding something PERFECTLY STILL while he wields the soldering iron like a drunken samurai warrior. Once, my hand was accidentally nipped by the iron during one of these adventures which provided me with an opportunity to howl like Janet Leigh and then lord the incident over him for a yet-to-be-determined period of time.

Still, it is enjoyable to have him set up shop in the kitchen on a Saturday afternoon. He can spread the entrails of some mysterious item across the island while I putter with a culinary masterpiece. The only challenge in sharing kitchen space is my overwhelming desire to hide one of his parts for my personal amusement. It would, of course, be returned with a smile when I handed him fresh-baked cookies and milk, but my rational brain tells me only one of us would be amused with these high jinks.

And that, my friends, is audio winning.