Friday, March 4, 2022

Let Me Entertain You

What you have here is a PSA—not the screening test for gentlemen—but the one that has to do with an announcement, to the public, about a thing. In this case the thing is AXPONA. It is called AXPONA because the founder was under the influence of something when he named this event and thought that was a melodic-sounding palindrome. Turns out it’s not very melodic and… nope… it’s not a palindrome.

I’m all for walking the XPO, which is usually spelled EXPO, but at this event the E is silent and invisible. The point, however, is I’m only able to generate authentic audio adrenaline for limited periods of time before my face starts to convey the fact that my mind is purchasing a ticket to the Get Me Out of Here resort and spa.

Here's the problem, if you visit the AXPONA website, you will notice there is not a banner or a tab or a button with a listing of the spouse outings because there aren’t any. Sure, there’s the customary mall nearby and a do-not-miss exhibit on the History of Anesthesia at the Wood Library, but you’re basically on your own to figure this stuff out.

I’m half-heartedly working to see if I can remedy this situation with the AXPONA organizers, but if nothing else you’ll find me in a corner somewhere with my Mah Jongg tiles wistfully looking for three other players. We’ll start by dumpster diving for a three-legged card table since all the four-legged tables will be smugly displaying audio merch in the XPO hall. After that, who knows what will happen, maybe we’ll get tattoos or put together a list of palindromes to describe audiophiles—anything is possible, really.