Friday, May 4, 2012

Games People Play

The Audiophile is out of town which means two things: 1) I no longer hear Van Morrison approximating various animal, mineral, and vegetable noises in the background; and 2) I can run any household appliance I want without upsetting the acoustical zen symbiosis of our home.

This leads me to what I call the appliance concerto. Say you start the bread maker to fashion some pizza dough, and you also throw in a load of laundry because you are super-human. Once in a while, when the cosmic symphonies align themselves, the dough and the clothes culminate their cycles at precisely the same time. This results in a cacophonous medley of ringer-dingers that only a non-audiophile can fully appreciate.

I've had the pleasure of an appliance duet several times this year, but with The Audiophile away for the weekend, I'm hoping to fire up enough pinging and dinging devices to have a three-part harmonious experience that will rank right beneath marrying an audiophile and spawning more audiophiles.

Clearly, this sort of business is only embarked upon by deranged people who need medication and shock therapy. I propose this is what happens when one is led to believe that making a piece of toast will get dirt on the electricity and diminish the fidelity of the stereo. So, when The Audiophile returns and asks me what I did in his absence, I'll probably just say, "Oh, I went shoe shopping and got a mani-pedi," because that is a lot safer than telling him what I did to the electricity.

And that, my friends, is audio winning.